In Response: 10 Tips For Twenty Something Transformation

I am 21 years old. I'll be 22 in November. I don't know if I really qualify as a 20-something since I've only hit my second decade of life two years ago. But I do know that after living with college freshmen (17 - 19 year olds) for 9 months, it doesn't matter if you're 21 or 28 - there is a very clear discrepancy between the teens and the 20-somethings.

Christine Hassler of the Huffington Post wrote an interesting post a couple of days ago called "10 Tips for 20 Something Transformation."

Reading the article was interesting because it felt like she wasn't really saying anything new.

Make choices, Stop Comparing, Make Mistakes.

Yet at the same time, there was something about those words being reinforced by someone else in a simple list format that was both intriguing and powerful for me. Also, although she specifically refers to 20-somethings, this list really could apply to anyone in any part of their life.

I suggest you go to the article if you want to see her full list, but here are a few tips that she had that I want to respond to.

Be present - So simple and so true. You know, as college students and post-college 'adults', I feel like we throw this phrase around a lot, but how many of us truly understand what it means to "be present"? Honestly, not many of us. Just as Hassler says, we concentrate so much on where we're going and with whom. I know I do that. But I'm also trying to change my thinking in acknowledging that when I am truly present and observe how I react to things, life will unfold itself the way it is meant to.

Tune in - YES! Please listen to your intuition! Intuition gets overlooked so often... Listening to your brain - cool. Listening to your heart - cool. Listening to your intuition - awesome.

Build Your Tribe - Note: "Facebook will not nourish your soul" - Hassler. Amen. When we enter college, we're sort of spoiled in that our tribe is made for us. We walk into a preassigned dorm and told that they are family for the next nine months. The rest of college continues sort of similarly as we create tribes with every new living situation. But as time passes, we learn who we want in our tribe, who we don't, who helps us evolve, and who stunts our growth with negative energy. I know much of where I am today is because of my tribe and there is nothing more important than our human (face-to-face!) relationships.

Again, the tips that Hassler point out are by no means exclusive to 20-somethings. But being 20-something and being surrounded by 20-somethings, it might be appropriate that she targets us specifically - I find that we are more easily thrown off balance at this time in life because it seems that what we see, what we believe, and what we know are in constant argument with each other. Thank you, ego.


I showed Hassler's post to a friend and she quickly exclaimed that she was going to print the list out and post it on her wall. Not a bad idea. Hassler's post should be a reminder to us all that life continues, our surroundings change, we adapt, and we keep moving. But we must live the experience moment by moment.

Before I end this post, a couple tips of my own.

Smile and Laugh - Please laugh. Laugh at yourself, laugh with your friends, laugh when you are having fun. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so what's stopping you?

Breathe - I would say meditate as well. Go somewhere calming with no distraction, and just breathe in and out. Listen to your breathing, clear your mind, and just be.

Have a lovely weekend everyone! Much love and take care

4 Phone Calls - "I'm Sorry," "I Forgive You," "I Love You," and "Thank you"

We have a program in our dorm where we spotlight three residents and basically bombard them with questions for an hour. What happens is three people sit on a couch, each give a one to two minute summary of the basics in their lives (family, hometown, major, etc.) and then the rest of the hour is open to the rest of the dorm to ask them any question they would like. Some of our favorites include: Most embarrassing moment, When did you become cool?, and Favorite college moment.

Today, a resident raised her hand and in a shy but confident voice, asked:

If you could make four phone calls to say one of the four phrases "I'm sorry," "I forgive you," "I love you," and "thank you," who would you call?

What a simple but thought provoking question!

I think these might be my answers:

I'm Sorry - I would call my parents, not because I was a rebellious teenager or I don't think I've lived up to their expectations, but I would say sorry for all of the times that I withheld what I truly felt from them. I have a tendency to keep my thoughts, my beliefs, and my opinions to myself for fear of causing chaos, argument, or negative energy. Thus my parents were kept a part from a lot of what I was feeling and thinking as I was growing up. This was especially true when they separated and soon after divorced. So I would tell them I'm sorry for not being open and not sharing what I feel when I'm sure what they needed most was for their daughter to share how she felt.

I Forgive You - I would call my two friends from High School who stopped speaking to me after I was accepted to the university I currently attend. They had both applied and were both denied and for some reason that gave them reason to call me names behind my back and to not like me. I was angered by their actions and couldn't understand what I had done wrong to deserve such treatment. But I forgive them. I forgive them for calling me names and I forgive them for not knowing any other way to express how they felt. So the next time I am in the same room with them, instead of walking the other way, I will meet them and smile and say hello, because I forgive them.

I Love You - I would call my best friend whom I've known for the past two years, and tell him that I love him. I love him for pushing me past my limits but also being there whenever I needed to lean on someone. He is a beautiful soul that is still rough around the edges, but is growing and evolving into who he wants to be, and all the while, he is there for me.

Thank You - I would call my grandmother. She passed a couple of years ago, and I used to believe that I was her least favorite grandchild. She was stubborn, hard headed, and selfish, and had a celebrity complex that made her think that she could do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. But in truth, she was the only person who knew how to live freely and in the moment and was always happy, and I regret that I didn't realize this until she passed. So I would say thank you to my grandmother for always reminding me to live in the present and not be afraid to pursue what I love.


Who would you call, and why?

And more importantly, a question to you as well as myself - why aren't you calling them right now?