Don Juan or the X-Files?

I have a friend who thoroughly enjoyed The Teachings of Don Juan. If you look at my left margin, you will see that that is the book I'm currently reading.

He enjoyed Don Juan. Currently, however - I am not. "Not enjoying" is probably not the most accurate way to describe my feelings about the book. I am about 3/4 the way through the book. I'm almost done with his accounts of his first years with Don Juan, and I have the analysis left to read.

It's not like I'm not enjoying the book. There are moments of the book that I enjoy more than others.

What I Enjoy: Don Juan's views about enemies of man and his responses to Castaneda's questions.

Don Juan talks about how there are four enemies of man - Fear, Clarity, Power, and Old Age. These all make very good sense to me and I think they are relatively accurate. We fear things, but once we get over that fear, we have a sudden sense of clarity. We realize that our fear is not one that should control our lives, and the fear comes from uncertainty. But once that clarity is attained, we get the false sense that we are powerful, thus the third enemy of man. We feel that we've conquered fear, and attained a sense of clarity, but then with clarity we don't know what to do with it. Too much clarity will have the opposite effect, so we must overcome it and become powerful. But what none of us can ever escape is Old Age. To overcome old age? I don't know. Become wise?

I also like Don Juan's answers to Castaneda's questions. They usually involve silnce with a pensive look, laughing at him his eyes ask Castenda "what the fuck are you talking about?" and actual answers.

What I Have a Hard Time With: Castaneda's questions and the X-File, Drug-enhanced hallucinations.

I realize that Castaneda is asking questions because he's an academic and wants to 'understand' what is going on around him in a tangible manner, but man, sometimes he just needs to SHUT UP. His questions sound so elementary sometimes. He has a hard time just accepting the experience as it is, and try to understand what happened to him. Sometimes, it's good to answer questions - like when he's making a new concoction of something or where they are going to go. Sometimes, he just needs to shut it.

Also, the X-Files things. So the reason I can stand this book is because Don Juan has some good things to say. The parts that lose me are when Castaneda goes into his hallucination stages. He smokes, takes peyote, drinks/eats/rubs the devil's weed, and he is sent to who knows where. Is it another world? Is it this world but a different reality? Is it his alternate or parallele universe? I have yet to figure that out, partly because I am losing my patience with this book - thought I plan to finish it no matter what.

I believe that he can 'fly' and do all that under the influences of those strong plants/drugs/things that Don Juan tells him to eat/drink/rub. Sometimes it gets kind of X-Files-y though. Maybe it's the way that Castaneda describes them. I'm just waiting for the X-Files BGM to start. I really think it's the way Castaneda describes his experiences. And then I just lose it when he starts his incessant questions. I can feel Don Juan's annoyance and fight to be patience, even through the pages of events that supposedly happened almost fifty years ago.

That said.

I don't doubt that there are people like Don Juan in this world. I also don't doubt that there are various plants, concoctions, and such that will allow people to have experiences like that of Castaneda. I was always interseted in Native American Shamans and medicine. I just like that sort of culture from the beginning. And I would love to meet my own Don Juan - though I don't think I would go through everything that Castaneda went through.

So I think this is what it comes down to - I just have a hard time with Castaneda himself and his writing style. Afterall, after his books, he disappeared for decades and then was reported to hav been living in some mansion in California with three of his 'followers' (or lovers, if you prefer that interpretation) that have been called "the Witches." They were also forced to change their names. I don't know about this Castaneda character. If i can stand it, I'll have to read more of his books. If not, I'm going to have to do some research on him so I can get a better understanding fo who he is and give him a more objective (subjective?) view...

I never really liked adventure books featuring boys anyways. The only one I've actually liked is The Alchemist.

I really think that's what it is.

Now I must finish the book.

bjs. Happy reading.

Don Juan and Marathons

So I'm reading The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda right now... I can't get into it.

I keep reading it as an account of a drugged up youth in the 60s who encountered some really strong drugs thanks to an old Native American Shaman. I'm trying to be open minded. I am open minded, and I plan to finish the book no matter what. That doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy it though.

It's like, if you aren't going to enjoy the book, then don't read it. I agree. But this particular book, I feel, needs a chance. I need to give it a chance and read it through. Maybe I'll have to read it again sometime later, but for now... dang.

I can read Deepak, I can read Eckhart, I can listen to Ken Wilber. Sure, Castaneda is not on the same level as those three, but since this book and those three ... people (?) were introduced to me around the same time, I kind of want to compare just for the sake of comparing them. I can deal with spiritual ideas. I have a hard time with drug enduced hallucinations, especially if the author later on went to start his own cult with "three witches" (his three lovers) whom were forced to change their name to live with him.

Again, I'm giving it a chance. I'm giving it my attention, my patience, and my open mind, but this one is extremely hard. I considered that maybe I just wasn't learned enough to understand it. I'm starting to think, however, that it isn't so much being learned or not, but just like how some foods are delicious to some and harder to eat for others, Don Juan just might be my green pepper - not horrible, I can eat it, and at times it's even good, but I still have a difficult time with it.

That said...

Maybe I'll start training for a non-existent marathon. I think I need a goal like that. I can't do it here, but when I get back to the Farm, I'll find something, especially since I've broken up temporarily from Vball and Bball, I need to do something that forces me to move my body...

I'll think about it. It might be good.

Updated List

• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• A New Earth by Eckharte Tolle
• Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger
• The Path of Love by Deepak Chopra
• Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
• Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Olivier Relin
• Freakanomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
• The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda
• Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum
• One Hundred Demons by Lynda Barry
• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
• Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer

The last three books are not in my possession yet, I'm quickly running out of things to read, even after I added two books that weren't originally in my list (CHW + Freak). Don Juan will take me a while, no doubt. I could only read 20 pages on the train this morning - I can usually do 30 to 40 pages. I'll still run out of things to read.

*sigh*

bjs

Reading Green Tags... ?

This article is a very interesting one. To be honest, I haven't read the whole article yet. I will, eventually, but just the first few paragraphs is interesting enough.

I think the reason why this is so interesting to me is because I'm was a huge internet user until this summer. Now, I use the internet just as much, but I'm spending all the time I use studying for school during the school year, for reading. That's the only way I have been able to finish seven books in the last five weeks.

Some of my best writing since 2003 has been in the form of blogging and my journal as a .doc (I don't like hand writing, especially when it involves typing the same speed my brain operates - fast). And sometimes, where I find books is online, so in that sense, I think reading online is not necessarily a negative choice in comparison to print books. The 'sitting in front of a tv' is another deal.

Here is another article.

Unfortunately, Stanford is not one of the colleges mentioned... at least not that I know of. I may have missed something.

The US is all about green right now, but they're fight to be 'green' is NOTHING compared to Japan. Japan is so eco-conscious, green-conscious, conscious, conscious, conscious, that the US is so, so, so, far behind.

Anyways.

I think I'm going to start tagging my posts. If I feel compelled to, I will tag my other posts in my spare time (which is... always? Even though I'm at work? Which, btw, the lady I share the office with is out sick today. I have the office to myself. Yay! I could technically close the door and sleep. haha)

Today's post was not that interesting. I apologize. But at least the articles were!

bjs

Summer Reading Updated (again) And Some More...

Okay. Here's the most recently updated (is that redundant...? does recently automatically it would be updated... maybe not. Okay, now I'm confused) reading list for this summer. I think I've added a book here, struck through one there...

• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• A New Earth by Eckharte Tolle
• Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger
• The Path of Love by Deepak Chopra
• Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
• Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Olivier Relin
• Freakanomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
• The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda
• One Hundred Demons by Lynda Barry
• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
• Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer
• Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum

Okay, now moving on to and more...

Firstly.

• Click here to talk about music and technology
• Click here to read about Spike Lee

Secondly.
Read Three Cups of Tea. 'nuff said.

Thirdly.
Blog surfing is so incredibly interesting.

I just found out that one of the girls from my dorm will be going to the Beijing Olympics. Don't believe me? --> click!

Everyone's doing big things every where.

bjs

One Year Anniversary

You know the song "Damaged" by Danity Kane? The first time I heard the song, and weeks after it when I heard it almost every single day, every time the girl's said "Damaged," I thought they were saying "Feel it." I realized today that they weren't saying "Feel It" at all but "damaged." I feel kind of silly right now. As you might be able to imagine...

So why is this post named One Year Anniversary?

Today marks the one year point since my Grandmother passed away.

I know it's sort of a sad, somber topic to be writing about. But I guess it's a good opportunity to reflect, yeah?

My grandmother has a name she uses in the entertainment business: Katsushibayo.

She also has two great pieces of wisdom that she felt we should live by.

1.) Always look good, dress to impress, present yourself well.
2.) Do what you want to do.

These two views she had on life accounted for more than 70% of the reason why she was an intimidating figure to me. Not just me, but to everyone. But it wasn't a "I'm scared" sort of intimidation - it was more of a "this woman has done great things, is doing great things, will do great things just because she dresses well and always follows her instincts." It was the type of indimidation that was coupled with admiration.

I have two grandmothers - my mum's mum, and my dad's mum. I can't say that I always looked forward to seeing my dad's mum. My mum's mum, the one that passed away last year, however, I was intimidated by, but never didn't NOT want to see. She intimidated me, she always had something to say about the way I dressed, but I was always happy to see her. She always wanted kisses from her grandchildren to a point where even for a child like who grew up in a Western community with Filipino and Island culture background, it was a bit embarrassing.

She always had something to say about the way I dressed. Now looking back, she definitely had reason to. She might be a bit proud if she could see me now. But yes, I agree, she had reason to critique the way I dressed and presented myself. It wasn't after she passed away, this past year, that I realized that the way she lived, and her two theories she lived by had brought her to great places. She had so many people that we didn't know that wanted to attend her funeral, we had to fight really hard to keep it only within family. Even then, we allowed one outsider, a famous Japanese actress whom my mum and aunt considered my grandmother's first child (not for real, of course, just in theory).

I can't say that my grandmother's death changed my life in any way, but I've taken her two theories in life and have been trying hard to implement it into my life. I've been trying (trying - have not perfected yet) to dress well and present myself well every single day, and I've also been doing what I want to do, even if my rational mind might disagree. That's not to say that those decisions I made were bad. Yes, some had negative consequences, and some choices I made I have been trying to deal with mentally and emotionally even now.

But for the most part. about 99.9% of the decisions I made with my grandmother in mind were the right choices.

So I figure what she lived by meant something. And I plan to keep living by it.

On to a much lighter topic.

Jordin Sparks sounds like Brandy. I knew that No Air was by Jordin, but I still thought it was Brandy when she started singing.

Okay. I'm going to go grab some drinks from the office kitchen and work on my report. 35 pages and counting... It seriously feels like Cliff Nass meets an extreme version of PWR.

bjs.

Dress well, and do what you want ;)

Shamless Blog Surfing / New Found Freedom

yes, I am a shameless blog surfer, but before I get to that...

Shout Outs to Teak and Atha! The only two people from Stanford that keep in touch (sort of, Teak, I know your working on it) and check this blog. haha. well done.

Now, on to Shameless Blog Surfing.

I've recently (not really) encountered the "next blog" button at the top of this page. It's amusing. I love it. I don't know why. It's just so interesting to see who blogs. And since this is somewhat along the lines of my work, I want to quickly list to you the type of people who blog.

• Random start-up business - Don't ask me why. They just do. A lot of the time they're Thai too. Thai start-ups. haha
• Artists - This is no surprised. What better place to publish their art to a wide (as long as they advertise well) range of audiences? Lots of photography, paintings, fashion mishaps, and so forth.
• Brazillians - Don't ask me why, but almost half, if not more, of the blogs I encounter are in Portuguese. So may their Portuguese? - you ask me. I considered that, but most of them are based in Brazil. Who knew Brazillians were such avid bloggers.
• Mormon Families - Again, don't ask me why. But this is what a particlar morman family blog is like. There's a beautiful family photo of young parents and usually a baby. Next to the photo is a quick description of who they are, when they got married, where they live, etc. Below that are about 10+ links to blogs of other family members. Something like "Family Blogs: George and Becca, Nicole and Steve, Emily and Clark..." The posts themselves would include photos of events, little random musings of the day, and family trips. Yes. It's true.
• Celebrity Stalkers - Photo after photo of their favorite celebrities with no other explanation.

I'm so glad I've returned to the blogging world.

Moving on to the next topic - New Found Freedom

So recently, I was starting to realize that as much as I loved reading A New Earth and The Path To Love and so forth, I was having a hard time with it. I didn't know what it was. I was just having trouble with it. I understood the concepts, but to me, it felt like what they were saying - living in the present - meant discouting everything in the past and all thoughts of the future. I'm sure this is never what they meant, but to me, that's all I kept hearing.

Then I asked a friend of mine one day out of the blue, "what do you think of this idea of 'living in the present'?" and from there on, it sparked a mini conversation between the two of us until he finally ended his thoughts with "If we're living in the present, and we're happy enough, why bother with the philosophy of it?"

And then it hit me.

That's true. Why bother reading and studying and figuring out how or why we live in the present if we do it and are fine with it. Okay so maybe the first part isn't quite right. I don't know if I phrased that right. But that's true. If one makes the effort to live in the present, and are content with the way one does it, then why explore the deep philosphies of it. It's understandable if one wants to do it out of interest, and studying its philosphy and trying to understand what people are studying is not a bad thing. Welcome to 20+ years of schooling, right? And it's not bad to have a bit of background as to what it is that you're doing. But if you (the relative you) are truly interested in living presently, then it would make just as much sense to just do it in a way that you're happy with, then worry about all the ways that other people have done it or tell you to do it. What's the point of just being if you're preoccupied with all the ways of 'being' and the 'how to/how not to' of it. You shouldn't have to work hard to be. You should realize that it's the only way to live, be aware of it, realize that you have already been living that way, and keep being.

Again, this is not to say that studying about it and reading it about it is bad. It's good. The more you know, the more you can establish your own thoughts behind it. But in trying to keep up with another friend and understanding everything he had to say, I forgot that the only person that lives my present is, in fact, me. I was so preoccupied with keeping up to speed with friends, being intimidated by ideas thrown at me, and worrying about how I was going to live in the present, that I forgot the very fundamental truth that I've actually been living by for the past seven or eight years of my life.

I've always been living in the present. But the past helps me in reminding me to live in the present. And my future gives me something to day-dream about and work toward when I need a mental break. My version of 'living in the present' includes a healthy balance of present, past, and future. And it's gotten me this far with this many successes and failures. I can educate myself, learn a few key ideas, maybe some meditation techniques and learn a new way to look at the world, but that doesn't mean I need to go and completely change the way I live just because one of my friends is doing it and various gurus and spiritual masters are saying what they want.

This was the new found freedom I encountered yesterday. All of a sudden, my anxiety disappeared, my sense of inferiority in the subject took its leave, and I was staring at a new sense of meaning and idea of "living in the present" in my life. And I plan to cultivate it, apply it, and live it.

And I love it.

bjs.

ps. before I publish this, I'm going to give you two links to two cool blogs I encountered while I blog surfed.

All you have to do is click here and click here. Sweet.

Glow

That's my goal from now until I step foot onto Stanford soil.

I used to go back to my state two years ago.

GLOW

Don't forget to check my updated blogs!

• Re:
• rioN --> New Contributor!

bjs

Weakness

I have a friend that has an ultimate weakness. He has a different word for it. I know that, but using that word, I feel, will only confuse things more, so for now, I'm just going to call it a weakness, knowing that he would prefer to call it something else.

The weakness.

So his weakness is, that, a certain part of him needs be feel needed. In other words, he gravitates, somewhat subconsciously to people he knows needs his help. This doesn't always mean literally. It's not like "Hi, I need you to help me in chemistry." It's more in the sense of "I need you to support me, I need you to listen to me, I need you to be my mental and emotional base." Without meaning to, he finds these people.

I believe, I am one of those people.

But at the same time, I'm trying to graduate out of that.

Coming to college, I finally found what I'm comfortable with. People may say that I'm changing but I see it more as becoming - finally becoming who I was born to be.

I did some 'needing' early on. It was rare for a person to be able to sit across from me for three hours and let me talk about my problems. I thought it was out of the kindness of his caring heart. It was, for the most part. But the other 30 to 40% of him was doing it because he was feeling needed. If a person feels needed, he gravitates toward them.

This is not a bad thing. I know this because I'm a similar person. I gravitate towards people who have certain needs. It's not like we actively seek them, it just happens. But as I become more independent, I realize that this friend that I've known for a very, very long time has come to fall into a natural rhythm and habit of assuming that whenever I want to talk to him, it's to share some sort of neediness. So it seems that whenever I talk to him, he's assuming that some sort of needy, sad, frustrating, venting is going to occur, when really, all I want to talk to him is about the recent book that I read or the movie I saw.

SO how do I change this? How do I make him realize that at times I may need his insight and his willingness to listen, but at times, I just want to talk to him about life?

I could either just tell him that.

Or just change the nature of what I talk about.

I don't know. I'm working on it.

Dreams = The Present

I really should be working, but I just had this interesting insight that I feel I should write down before it leaves me.

A friend just emailed me to tell me that she forgot to set her alarm last night and, as a result, gained 100 minutes more of shut-eye that should have been used for getting ready and going to work. That extra 100 minutes, however, lead her to - what I might consider - an awakening.

I use the word awakening relatively liberally. It's not the same awakening that Tolle or someone might suggest, but I'm going to use the word here for lack of a better one until I find an alternative.

The situation goes something like this:
My friend had an emotionally difficult experience nine months ago. But, because it was an experience that she, in a sense, brought on herself, she picked herself up and quickly moved on - or so she thought. Nine months later, she heard news of something that related to that emotionally difficult incident nine months ago, and she was forced to confront what she was feeling inside. It got to a point where she felt sick to her stomach.

Then, my friend (smart girl), decided to go home, lay on her bed, and try to work through these feelings and thoughts that she had about the experience nine months ago, and what has unfolded in the past few days. Eventually, she fell asleep, until her dad woke her up this morning, way after she was supposed to wake her up.

Fortunately, this extra 100 minutes allowed her time to dream. In the dream, she was with the people involved in the event nine months ago and everything leading up to now, and they were in the future discussing how they felt.

After waking up and looking back on her dream, my friend had an awakening. So the question is, how did this 'awakening' or epiphany or 'enlightenment' (as she called it) come about?

This is what I came up with. My friend went to sleep with her thoughts. She had feelings and ideas about the situation in her outward conscious. What was making her sick, however, was what her subconscious was telling her. Her subconscious, I think, was being surpressed by her outer thoughts (the thoughts that were occupying her at the moment) that the subconscious was trying to get out causing her to feel sick.

Her dream was the perfect medium for her subconscious. In her dream, although the dream itself took place in the future, all the thoughts she was having was her present thoughts. Not just her outward thoughts, but her subconscious as well. It was the one place in which her thoughts and her subconscious found a common ground, placing her in - sort of - present moment. That present moment caused her 'epiphany' afterwards.

Isn't it weird? I'm not a big believer in coincidences. I don't remember when, but a while back, before college, I came to believe that everything happens for a reason. I was/is, in a way, a big believer in our conventional, wikipedia definition of 'karma' (I say conventional and wikipedia because I know have learned that karma means a multitude of things). I was a believer in the "what goes around comes around." Nothing happens from coincidence. Everything is predetermined. The reason my friend had to cancel dinner with another friend because she was feeling sick, and then decided to contemplate that on her bed, that caused her to fall asleep and forget to turn on her alarm, and then have the extra 100 minutes of sleep that ended up being an extra 100 minutes of a conversation between her thoughts and her subconscious. This is not a coincidence. This was all meant to happen.

and now I have loads of work that I had put aside, and my boss just came in (as I was blogging) to give me sudden deadlines - today and tomorrow!? - that I need to meet, and I refuse to stay after 5:30 pm. So off to work I go.

I hope you have a chance to have a similar 'awakening/epiphany/enlightenment' as a result of carefully planned events in your life.

bjs

The Other Blogs...

Just a quick update to let you know that my other blogs have been updated as well!

• rioN
• Rabbit's Head
• Re: --> NEW

Happy blogging

bjs

So Hate Is Also Love?

In response to my Paolo Coelho post, Atha asked - So hate is also love?

Hm...

No. Not quite. At least not in the way that I know it.

We're meant to recognize that there are negative emotions in life. They are such things as hate, jealousy, pain, and anger. These emotions exist. We're not denying that.

We're also assuming the truth that love exists everywhere. It is something we cannot escape, fall in and out of, or look for. Love is consciousness, consciousness is the present, the present is now, and now is life as we know it. If you follow that a = b = c theory, than love is life.

That is established.

So then what do we do with all the negativity in life? Ignoring it, I feel, will be the wrong way to approach it. That would be childish, immature, and not embracing.

I think what a lot of us fail to realize is that when we feel this negative emotion - hate, for the sake of conversation - it is toward something or someone. The reason we feel this negative emotion is because deep inside, that aspect that we hate that is manifested in that person or object or situation, exists within ourselves as well. If you say that you hate someone because they are self-absorbed, you are also stating that 'self-absorbed' also exists within yourself, one of the reasons why you can recognize it, and you are disturbed by that.

Then how do we rid ourselves of these negative emotions?

This is where love comes in.

You can accept love as something that is all existing. Now, you must also accept that you are full of love and are also lovable.

We fall into this pit of negativity, often because we feel this negativity that exists within ourselves makes us unlovable. In return, that negative emotion is driven further, and there is an endless cycle of negative emotion and self-degradation. Thus to break free of this cycle - it's hard, I know, I have a hard time with it as well - is to accept that you are lovable. You can also return this love. There becomes an endless cycle of love.

If you can accept that you are capable of loving and that you are lovable, then there can't be hate that exists within you, because when you see someone, you can't hate someone because that negative emotion is not reflected in you. You don't have it.

That's not to say that since you don't have these negative emotions you can't recognize it other people. You can recognize it in other people, which is why 'loving' - and I don't mean this at all in any sexual way, though it is another important aspect of love that we can touch on later - is important. You have to help that other person with negative feelings to realize that they are loved as well.

In a weird sense, this also means you can't wait for love. It's not something that will come to you. It already exists all around you. So it's a matter of whether you can recognize this love within yourself and understand it.

There are ways to do this, excercises you can do. If I find it appropriate, I may share some later.

I hope that make a little bit of sense. As I was writing it, it made sense to me, but then I also realized that this could be really circular and not make sense...

I'll leave it like this for now, espcially since I'm writing this at work.

lunch time!

bjs

Summer Reading List - Updated

So I have yet to write a review for any of them yet, but I thought I'd repost my reading this for this summer since it seems that there has been some additions, and it'll help me keep my books in order. <strikethrough denotes finished books>
The Summer Reading List

• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• A New Earth by Eckharte Tolle
• Chasing Harry Winston by Lauren Weisberger
• The Path of Love by Deepak Chopra
• Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
• One Hundred Demons by Lynda Barry
• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
• Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer
• Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Olivier Relin
• The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda
• Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum

As you can see, I have seven left out of eleven. I'm getting there. I can pprobably finish Tipping Point this week since it's not as heavy a read as The Path of Love and A New Earth. I finished CHW in 2.2 days, so I think it'll be fine. That means I have to go upstairs and trade my books with the one that's in my suitcase. As long as I start on the four required readings four weeks before NSO, I'll be A-ok. I also have to listen to the weekly lessons by Bill Harris and watch all 10 podcasts between Oprah and Eckhart. I also have to work on my blogs as well as continue working on Projects 1 through 4. This is so exciting that, even though i have eight hours of work every day, I have time to do all of this! This is a summer of independence, of growth, of learning to live without certain elements in my life, and immersing myself in love. Excellent.My feature of the day are two quotes from the Deepak book I just finished.

I must see all things in myself, rejecting nothing out of fear or disdain. I must remind myself always to look a little bit beneath the surface of things, for a flower is not just a flower -- it is rain and rainbow, clouds, earth, and the immensity of space. Then I must look at myself the same way

• Be kind to yourself and others.
• Come from love every moment you can.
• Speak of love with others. Remind each other of your spiritual purpose.
• Never give up hope.
• Know that you are loved.

You got me? Good. bjs

Love, Growth, Paulo

From my newest blog discovery... the one mentioned right below this one. Some cool things I found on his site.

Let's start with this one.





That's just straight forward... right?

Next.





This is very A New Earth. In reading Tolle and then Deepak, and then surfing Paulo's Blog, it immediately becomes clear that while all three men may be talking about different topics for a different audience, what they say is strikingly similar. Or perhaps 'similar' is the wrong word. They are all referring back to the same idea, same thoughts, same way of living.

It's this reoccurring idea of the ego and how 'who we are' in terms of labels, like "i am human, i am a woman, i am 20" is all related back to the ego. But is that who we really are? Those are words we use to describe ourselves. But to truly be ourselves is to strip ourselves of these 'superficial' (for lack of a better word) labels and to be rid of the ego.

Being presented with this idea in A New Earth, I had a hard time because as much as I understood the idea of stripping myself of the ego, I couldn't help but wonder how you could possibly live ego-less in a world and society where ego is what is going to help you get to the next place.

And then I listened to Genpo Roshi and I felt better. But I'll leave that for the next time.

Next.





I just like this card, even if he did rip off the photo from some site in google. But no matter. I like this one because it correlates to the Deepak Chopra book I'm reading (--> Deepak's Book <--). Deepak argues that love is everywhere. It's not something you go out and find. Love permeates through everything. You have to be open to it. You get as much as you give. Love is. At the same time, I Am. If I Am, and I Am is this present moment, and this present moment is being awakened and if awakening is love then I Am Love. You can't fall in and out of something that you are. I love and am lovable. That's what it comes down to. And finally, for today, something that really goes hand in hand with Deepak.





'surrender.' ahhh yes.

Here's the feature of the day. You have to click on the bottom right corner and do a flipping action with your mouse. woah





bjs

Paulo Coelho's Blog!?

HOLY SHAMOLLY!

Look who blogs! --> one kickass blog

LOVE IT!

Work or Blogging... Work or Blogging...

This is horrible. I shouldn't be blogging. But right now, it's either Japanese font surfing or blogging. And I've been inspired after reading the numerous blogs on the NY Times Blogs website, so this is why I'm blogging now.

I've also, for better or for worse, made another blog. And then, if I decide to do so, I'll have one more later. That brings my total blog number to four. Oops.

This is what happens when I have a lot of different things I'm interested in that I keep up to date with that I want to share with people.

But no worries, you will never be seeing a "celebrities-fake-perezhilton" blog or "what's big in fashion now" blog or even a "blog on blogs." Okay, the last one is actually something that sounds interesting, so let's disregard that one. But the first two, you can count that it won't be happening.

I'm doing a good job though, I think. I'm trying to minimize my blog number by combining somewhat relative topics. So far, I've got this blog, which is just me rambling. Then I have rioN that combines Music and Technology. And then one that just debuted today is rabbit's head, which is all theatre. The last one I'm debating on whether to really create is one that'll concentrate on books and 'spirituality.' I'll probably end up making it.

These blogs help me keep up to date with life and my interests. And it gives me an outlet. I think. People might not understand why blogging occurs or what the point is. But I don't know. I've always been a blogger. According to Blogger/Blogspot, I've been a blogger since 2003. That says something, don't you think?

In the mean time, I guess I shall return to work. Oh wait, it's 12:30 pm. Time for lunch and some Deepak Chopra (and when I'm done with Chopra it will be reviewd on my Book/'Spirituality' blog... see wouldn't it make sense for me to make one!?).

bjs

ps. My blog banner changed. DID YOU NOTICE!?

Diaspora Get Down... ?

first thing's first.

after random blog surfing i've come to the conclusion that most bloggers in the world speak Chinese, Portuguese, or German. Or at least, I keep finding blogs that are in those languages. WHY!?

SO, allow me to introduce to you (which is kind of no one) what I'd like to call Diaspora Drama... Here's the recipe for a good Diaspora (drama) get down.

1.) Begin with a remark/article/video/song/cookie that can be possibly perceived as even a bit racist towards the black community.
2.) Send the piece of media/cookie to the_diaspora@lists.stanford.edu.
3.) Respond to that email with a three paragraph long essay.
4.) Respond to that email with a five paragraph long essay.
5.) Respond, respond, respond.

OH MY GOSH. These emails/essays that come through the Diaspora list NEVER cease to amaze me. I'm not saying that what is being said is bad. It's EXTREMELY educational and entertaining. But sometimes, it's just ridiculous.

Can I just say, that Mr. Popo is an alien, Jynx from Pokemon is Japanese, Japanese people like monkeys, and then WHY KEEP CONTINUING THIS CONVERSATION???

-----

that said. here is a sneak peak to my new blog -> click here!

muito beijos minhas amores. (i think i just butchered the language...)
(^^)v

Why Am I Not a CS Major!?

i often wonder this...

why am i not a CS major?

the CS major will allow me to make all the different types of websites i'd like. Frikin' math. *shakes head* messing with my game! I might have to get one of those... website making for dummies or maybe I'll just get that program that let's me make websites. I don't know. But this is getting ridiculous. I want to do so much on the web, and yet I have no skills. GAH.

That said,

I'd like to feature a blog today.

I introduce to you: Matt Romaine.

The son of my past Japanese teacher/mum's colleague.

okay, that's it. Google is scary. haha. But it's a cool blog.

also, i was trying to figure out how I was going to put all of my interests into another comprehensive blog, and then I finally came up with brilliant idea: make two blogs. DUH. That means, all in all, i will have three blogs. I can do it. I'm a big enough blogger to have three blogs. I'm excited. That will be my weekend project.

I've been going out to dinner too much this past week - i need to recharge. So this weekend I will stay home, spend time with relatives, do some yoga, and work on my two other blogs. this is excellent.

Also, i am hitting myself over the head right now for deleting my old blog :between.apple.chips: I should've kept it. grr. I've been a major blogger since middle school, so I should've kept it. well, i mean, i'm sure it exists somewhere in cyper space as a set of bits and bytes and 1s and 0s. I don't know hot to find it though.

And i end with this:

KINA! - I hate this song, but i love her. So I'll endure it.



ps. My cousin just sounded like my uncle! woah!

Gregory and the Hawk

So I said last post that I was going to talk about Tolle for this post. I lied... Sort of. I will write about Tolle soon. I also have to write a review on One Hundred Years of Solitude. But, I just made a recent discovery (yes, 'recent' and 'just made' is a bit redundant) that I feel like I have to share.

Gregory and the Hawk






Wow. Just wow. Amazing voice, amazing songs.

I found her while listening to music at work via imeem.com.

I feel like thanks to shows like Grey's Anatomy and such, there's been this fluctuation/resurgence/comeback of the 'folk' category. I personally call the 'folk' category 'easy listening' but same deal. Anyways, it's been extremely easy (?) to find artists with this sort of sound. I'm surprised I didn't bump into Gregory and the Hawk earlier.

That said, what makes her so different from the rest of the indie folk singers?

I'll be honest, I don't know. I think there's this weird tendency for folk songs to be very metaphoric and analogous, which is great. I love that. But her songs have beautiful imagery (check "Boats and Birds") but she also has straight forward songs that she sings with the same folk feel (check "I Wish"). And her voice is so sweet but what she sings about it so painful sometimes.

My personal favorites are "Boats and Birds," which I believe appeared on one of the Grey's Anatomy tracks, as well as "The Bolder Thing to Do." I prefer Bolder but I think both songs touch on this folky-metaphoric side as well as the brutally honest and sort of depressing side of her songs.

Boats is apparently about leaving home. Bolder is just so straight forward.

I'm attaching the link to her home page here: Gregory and The Hawk Home Page and MySpace.

I'm working on that Broadway blog. I just had a long day today so I haven't been able to launch it. I also need a cool URL name that isn't too corny. I guess I'll have to work on that one.

In the mean time, I leave you with the lyrics of the two songs.

The Bolder Thing To Do
Every day trying to make up for the one before
climb three flights to tremble at the sight of your already open door
the frustration I see when I tell you I like some company
breaks my heart
how can you be so impartial?

and I've made myself the fool
who's fallen for you
so let me down softly this time and
I wont have to come back cryin'
I've just made myself look bad and
you're the one who should be feelin' bad
it'd be better to forget you
but I don't really want to
it'd be better to forget you
but I don't really want to

energy spent trying to believe you're not worth it
you don't deserve it
but I wish you did 'cause I can't rid the thought of it
and I'll remember you as the second or two
artists I knew who decided to screw me over
'cause it's the bolder thing to do

Boats and Birds
If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by

if you be my boat
I'll be your sea
a depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free

but you can set sail to the west if you want to
and past the horizon till I can't even see you
far from here where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by

if you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by
stardust to remember you by

bjs

First July Post!

*cheer* *applaud* *joy*

and thus concludes my first post of July.

JUST KIDDING.

Wow, it's July. I didn't realize until Jeremy said something, but it's Independence Day this Friday! But I have work, and I probably won't celebrate it because I'm in Japan. Wow.

So sad story (I totally just typed Storey). I was forced to change my myspace password because of the "phish"-ing thing. But I couldn't remember what the password was because it wasn't anything like my past passwords. So I tried to send the password to myself. But then Hotmail didn't open for some reason. It was just sad. But now I have my password, and now I can open MySpace, so it's ALL good.

I'm thinking about making another blog. I think I'm going to center it on Broadway, since I did such a good job of it before.

That way I can get Atha's people to 'sponsor' me. Or something.

But first I need the energy, and then the motivation. THEN maybe I can make something happen.

In the mean time, I'm almost done with A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. yay!

also...

Kina's new one of the week. Can you tell that I'm obsessed? Oh no...


My next post will be on Tolle, Consciousness, Pain-Body, the Ego, your main purposes vs. your secondary purpose, and so forth.

bye bye