What is Happiness?

Question:

What’s the meaning of happiness?

Genpo Roshi :

In my experience there are two types of happiness. The first is conditional, it depends on conditions and circumstances. It is relative happiness. This means that we are happy when the situation is such that we feel good about it and that it brings us joy and happiness. It is fleeting, and always transient. It comes and goes. It is not permanent.

There is a second kind of happiness, which is unconditional and not dependent on circumstances. It is joy and happiness that is always present, when we are in the here and now, in the present. It is absolute, not dependent on either circumstances or conditions. No matter what the situation, whether it is seemingly good or bad, in hard times or easy times, we are in a state of joy and happiness. This only happens when we are in touch with our true self, the one that is ever-present and yet difficult to tap into or access.

For example, suppose I ask to speak to the one who has been damaged, hurt, even broken, the one we are all more or less identified as. This would be our everyday mind or everyday self. It often feels mistreated, hurt, disappointed, upset about circumstances and how others are treating the self. Often it sees itself as a victim unable to cope with life, or at best having a difficult time. Happiness comes in fleeting moments when conditions are more or less perfect and they happen to be conducive to it.

So if I were to ask to speak to the immature voice of the limited conditioned self, or damaged self, this voice might say things like:

“I feel like the world conspires against me, like I have been beaten down since birth and even in the womb. I feel like I had no choice but to be born in this life. I am not sure why I am here, what my purpose is, or what the meaning of life is. I am searching and seeking for happiness, for joy, for a better life. I am seeking truth, enlightenment, liberation, peace of mind, etc. I can’t seem to grasp it or find it, which only increases the damage and makes me feel more frustrated. It is a constant effort, and I only succeed in becoming more exhausted and less happy. In fact the more I seek after happiness the more it seems to elude me”

If I then want to speak not only to the immature but also the unhealthy damaged self, I would ask, Why are you unhealthy?

This voice might respond: “I am unhealthy because I am immature, I am green, I am young. I see the world as something outside me and I feel like a victim of life. This causes me depression and anxiety, which stem from fear. The fear comes from the feeling of separation from the world and from others, even of being disconnected from my own feelings and emotions. This creates in me a sense of alienation and dissatisfaction. Because I am the unhealthy and immature damaged self, I can even create major diseases, long-term feelings of depression, severe cases of anxiety and all-around poor health.”

Next, I would like to speak to the disowned damaged self. Why are you disowned?

“I am disowned because the self disowns me and therefore I don’t really know who I am. I have no role. He keeps me hidden, suppressed. He is in denial about my very existence, pretends everything is OK, and that there is nothing wrong or lacking. I don’t feel that I have any position, that I’m honored, respected, included, embraced. In fact, in order for me to come out or to act, I have to do it in covert ways. I have to seek attention, I have to look to others for sympathy, confirmation and acknowledgement. I’m constantly trying to be liked, be accepted, to be welcome. I feel like a child who has been put in the basement, and has no place in the home, can’t go out and play with the other kids, can’t use the TV, the refrigerator, play in the living room. I don't feel at home”

So, if you were owned, how would you contribute to the self, what would you offer the self?

“Well, if I were owned I guess I could do my job with some dignity. I could take the damage, I could take the abuse, I could take the rejections, the feelings of abandonment. I could take the insults, I could take the blows, and I would do it with joy, with happiness, because it’s my job. And if I felt respected and appreciated, then I could really do this for him for the rest of his life without complaint, without bitching, without feeling angry about all the damage that others and he the self have caused me.”

If you’re the damaged self, whether you be immature, unhealthy, or disowned, there must be a self that is undamaged, that has never been damaged. Would you now allow me to speak to this undamaged, true self?

“I am the undamaged true self. As the undamaged true self, I’ve never been hurt, I’ve never been affected by anything. I am untouched and unharmed. I am pure awareness, witnessing and observing life as it goes on. I’m like a clear, vast sky, undamaged, unaffected, never been hurt or abused. I am whole, perfect, and complete. I am unborn and undying. I am limitless, timeless. I am fearless. I am not seeking anything, I have no desires, I am happy, content, fulfilled, and joyous. I am nirvana. I am complete and whole just as I am, and I see everything as complete and whole just as it is. There’s nothing lacking, nothing in excess, nothing missing. Everything is just perfect as it is, everything is the result of cause and effect, just emerging. In fact, there really is no cause and effect. Everything is just what it is.”

Well, if you are both the damaged self and the undamaged self and yet transcend them both, let’s imagine a triangle outlining your physical being, sitting in the lotus position. Sitting here, let’s call the left side, like the left brain, the human side, the side that takes all the blows, is damaged, is limited, is the one that is born and dies, experiences suffering, old age, etc. Then the right side, the undamaged true self, is the side of being-ness, the side that is pure awareness, pure now-ness, I am-ness. Let me now speak to the apex of this triangle, the one that embraces and includes the left and right sides of the triangle, includes and transcends and embraces these two, and has no preference for one over the other, the damaged self over the undamaged self, or the limited self over the true self, and no judgement of either being superior or inferior. Let me speak to the apex.

“I am the apex. I am the true human being. I embrace all the human conditions and qualities as well as the being-ness, pure awareness, timelessness, spaciousness. I include both extremes, the damaged self and the undamaged self. I am both and yet neither.”

So, say something as this apex, this one who consciously chooses to be a human being.

“Well sometimes I am happy and content, I am fulfilled. Sometimes I experience sadness and grief, I feel hurt, I feel pain, I suffer. And yet there’s always one who is not suffering, who is not in pain, who has no fear, who is beyond all of these conditions, who is unconditionally happy and fulfilled and joyous. There is tremendous space and freedom to just be what I am.”



Question:

Everyone is looking for happiness, where can they find it?

Genpo Roshi:

First of all if we’re looking and seeking, we’re not going to find it. It is only when we stop seeking happiness that happiness is ever present. The only place to find true happiness is when we are aware and awakened to our true nature, which is beyond the conditional, which includes and embraces conditional happiness, but also transcends it to a place of awareness, of unconditional happiness and joy.



Question:

Is it necessary to find happiness? What’s your opinion?

Genpo Roshi:

Only if you want to be happy. If we want to be happy and joyful and appreciate our life to the fullest and live life to the optimum, then we must discover the non-seeking mind, the one that has nothing further to seek and is always happy content and fulfilled. I might say I have never met a happy person doing mean things, I’ve only met unhappy people doing mean things. If you don’t want happiness, then it’s not necessary to find it. It is possible to just be happiness.



Taken from the Winter Edition of the Dutch Magazine Happinez.

en Master Genpo Roshi founded the Kanzeon Sangha, an international Zen community in 1984, with groups and centers throughout Europe and the U.S., and is abbot of Big Mind Western Zen Center in Salt Lake City, Utah, which he founded in 1993. He discovered the Big Mind process in 1999. His newest book is Big Mind Big Heart: Finding Your Way. www.bigmind.org