Faking Spirituality

I am not a spiritual person. I didn't grow up with a strong feeling toward spirituality or religion, and thus grew up for most of my life not believing in much and more importantly, not really caring.

Recently, however, in my growth and push to become someone more and to find myself, I've found that I'm compelled by this idea of spirituality. What does it mean to be spiritual? What does it mean to have a strong belief in something or someone?

I have just begun to scratch the surface of what we call spirituality.

What is caught under my nails is limited to an introduction to Deepak Chopra, some discussion about William Tiller, and a crash course through Eat, Pray, Love. But in truth, the only thing I've read is the last book. Shame.

That said, where does this leave me with spirituality?

I don't know. I meditate. I know that. What do I think of when I meditate? I meditate on my breathing, on centering myself, and feeling the warmth around me. That doesn't mean anything though; I don't have the same conviction and discipline that many people do. Other serious meditators might think I 'meditate' to mock. That isn't my intention at all.

I'm hoping that my children will be raised otherwise, though. They don't have to grow up idoling Buddha or believe in Jesus. I just want them to have knowledge.

Maybe we'll meditate together.

Wouldn't that be cute?

i promise to expand on this post later, when I'm not in a deep conversation (hardly) with friends or trying not to smile and laugh during rehearsals.

C:)