One Night of Insomnia

Folks, the next 9 hours is crucial for me.



in 9 hours, the rest (well, the last two years) of my college career will be determined. How can this be so, you ask? Quite simple comrades - RA Job Offers.



It makes one wonder, what in the world would make a person invest a month of their life so that the following school year, they can be subject to 3 am "I'm locked out of my room" calls or have to do silly cheers for a week to 100 hypothetically enthused (and definitely by the end, unenthused) hoity toity teenagers who believe that they're better than the rest of the world because they start school a month later than everyone else in this great institution we call Stanford. (phew, that was a long one)



Well friends, that 'person' who would put their life on hold and even their friendships in jeopardy, that would be me.



First of all, I will get into Donner. At this point, the only way I feel that I'm going to get in is to envision myself there. The power of awareness is a very powerful power. We must embrace it and practice it, always. And so for the past month I have been actively envisioning myself as a Donner or Larkin RA.



Second, what if I get into Donner, but the others don't? Back to active envisioning I go! Mustn't forget those of my peers that I would like to share the RA duties with if I'm going to take the time to envision myself there. I should at least put myself with enjoyable company, yes?



Oh my. This may be the only Stanford affiliated program that I REALLY want to get into. And you know what... I'm afraid. Everything else that I've applied for, even Stanford, has been somewhat half-assed. It has been a continuous two years of "I'll apply, but I wouldn't be too bummed if I don't get in." While I would like to say I share the same mindset for this process, and I sort of do, the stakes are much higher!



Back to envisioning myself in Donner.



It's still nerve wrecking though. Except I think writing in this is calming me for the time being. The real struggle will be if i can get to sleep. No matter.



Ooo... who is this that I hear on my iPod? I don't know. It's a nice R&B song though.



Finally, what the FUCK am I going to do if I don't get a job? I didn't even consider what I would do in the event that I don't get a job interview. How silly of me to assume that I'll get in. See, this is where it gets interesting. Like mentioned in my 2nd point, I apply to things half-assed. But, a lot of the reason I apply to things half-assed is because I also assume that I will get in. I have all the credentials, I have the brains, I have it all, so there is no reason for Stanford to reject me from anything.



So this is what it is. I know I'll get an RA job. The question, rather, is "where?"



Well DONNER, of course! Not because I just got the job offer but because my gut is telling me that I will get Donner and that Donner is the place for me.



I'm glad I decided to post on this thing instead of study for my midterm. I'm finding it hard to concentrate. I think I'll do better if I study from 9 am - 11 am tomorrow, before the midterm. Plus, I've been paying attention in class and up to date on the reading, so I'm not so worried about knowing vocabulary or concepts. It's just that tests in general are a drag.



But back to the main event.



So I've JUST decided that I'm going to start something new. It's called "Feature of the Day" where I choose something that I find and post it for all to see, even though no one really reads this.



I searched the web for a photo of the day, and I failed... But since this is my first day, I'm going to give you a photo from my own collection and then even give you guys a video/person that I've come to look forward to every Monday.



But first, the photo.







Ahhh, the Christ Statue. I miss this place. I miss this place a lot.



And to semi-conclude this post, a video.







I have turned into a very, very big fan of this young artist who goes by the name of Kina Grannis. A nice Hapa girl from SoCal with some great music and a seemingly great personality. Definitely worth checking out each week.



Well, I'm off to take one last look at my notes, read something intelligent, and then try hella hard to go to sleep.



We'll see how tomorrow goes.



Peace.



C:)