One Year Anniversary

You know the song "Damaged" by Danity Kane? The first time I heard the song, and weeks after it when I heard it almost every single day, every time the girl's said "Damaged," I thought they were saying "Feel it." I realized today that they weren't saying "Feel It" at all but "damaged." I feel kind of silly right now. As you might be able to imagine...

So why is this post named One Year Anniversary?

Today marks the one year point since my Grandmother passed away.

I know it's sort of a sad, somber topic to be writing about. But I guess it's a good opportunity to reflect, yeah?

My grandmother has a name she uses in the entertainment business: Katsushibayo.

She also has two great pieces of wisdom that she felt we should live by.

1.) Always look good, dress to impress, present yourself well.
2.) Do what you want to do.

These two views she had on life accounted for more than 70% of the reason why she was an intimidating figure to me. Not just me, but to everyone. But it wasn't a "I'm scared" sort of intimidation - it was more of a "this woman has done great things, is doing great things, will do great things just because she dresses well and always follows her instincts." It was the type of indimidation that was coupled with admiration.

I have two grandmothers - my mum's mum, and my dad's mum. I can't say that I always looked forward to seeing my dad's mum. My mum's mum, the one that passed away last year, however, I was intimidated by, but never didn't NOT want to see. She intimidated me, she always had something to say about the way I dressed, but I was always happy to see her. She always wanted kisses from her grandchildren to a point where even for a child like who grew up in a Western community with Filipino and Island culture background, it was a bit embarrassing.

She always had something to say about the way I dressed. Now looking back, she definitely had reason to. She might be a bit proud if she could see me now. But yes, I agree, she had reason to critique the way I dressed and presented myself. It wasn't after she passed away, this past year, that I realized that the way she lived, and her two theories she lived by had brought her to great places. She had so many people that we didn't know that wanted to attend her funeral, we had to fight really hard to keep it only within family. Even then, we allowed one outsider, a famous Japanese actress whom my mum and aunt considered my grandmother's first child (not for real, of course, just in theory).

I can't say that my grandmother's death changed my life in any way, but I've taken her two theories in life and have been trying hard to implement it into my life. I've been trying (trying - have not perfected yet) to dress well and present myself well every single day, and I've also been doing what I want to do, even if my rational mind might disagree. That's not to say that those decisions I made were bad. Yes, some had negative consequences, and some choices I made I have been trying to deal with mentally and emotionally even now.

But for the most part. about 99.9% of the decisions I made with my grandmother in mind were the right choices.

So I figure what she lived by meant something. And I plan to keep living by it.

On to a much lighter topic.

Jordin Sparks sounds like Brandy. I knew that No Air was by Jordin, but I still thought it was Brandy when she started singing.

Okay. I'm going to go grab some drinks from the office kitchen and work on my report. 35 pages and counting... It seriously feels like Cliff Nass meets an extreme version of PWR.

bjs.

Dress well, and do what you want ;)